Title: Tricks Come to Light
Author: Timothy Wren
Fandom: Naruto
Relationship: Momochi Zabuza/Hatake Kakashi
Challenge: KakaZabu Week 2022
Warnings: Hint of dubcon due to aphrodisiac pollen, but mutually consensual
Word Count: 1,248 (complete)
Summary: As far as poison mists go, “aphrodisiac” was the literal best option.
“Inari is a trickster god so we probably won’t die.” Zabuza said to Hatake Kakashi, the adopted son of Uzushio’s princess. Ideally he’d be running this op alone, but he wasn’t exactly disappointed to have a sealmaster tag alone– even if his ass was grass should the little prince die on his watch.
Kakashi snorted.
“Inari would probably find our naked, strung-up corpses hilarious.” He pointed out, causing Zabuza to do a double take.
“Naked?”
Kakashi cut silver eyes over at him and then forward again, not deigning to respond. Aloof little fucker.
Although, not that little. Despite his slim stature, they were roughly the same age, give or take a few months. Zabuza just had half a head on him, that felt like three feet.
He was grateful for that roughly forty minutes later. The average age of solo ninja had been going up for the last decade or so, but there were plenty of brats let loose by their respective villages. Thank fuck he wasn’t paired with any of them.
“Naked.” Zabuza scoffed, out of breath. “You knew this would happen!”
“I did not.” Kakashi snapped, huffy and not just because he was panting into Zabuza’s shoulder. “There’s stories about Inari’s– fuck– juvenile sense of humor, though.”
“Does this feel juvenile to you?” Zabuza’s cock pressed as roughly as his voice between them, jabbing into the Kakashi’s armor around the vicinity of his navel.
“Feels like we’ve got one way out of this.” Kakashi says, tone still calm despite the racing pulse at his throat. “Might as well enjoy it.” He added on, like an afterthought.
“Ugh, you’re impossible.” Zabuza griped, but he didn’t let go, either. They were both of them absolutely fucked up on the sparkly yellow vapor that had sprung from one of the traps the dungeon temple was lousy with.
He knew he shouldn’t complain– as far as poison mists go, “aphrodisiac” was the literal best option. It was better than nerve gas, paralytics, and a thousand times preferable to the stark vulnerability of knock-out gas. It was certainly better than the varieties that boiled your skin off or made you bleed from your pores, screaming.
Though Kakashi seemed determined to make him scream in other ways, teeth clamping down abruptly into the raw muscle of his shoulder. Zabuza grunted, the sound trapped behind his teeth.
His hips bucked wildly. Kakashi made a pleased, bestial sound against the flesh in his mouth.
They tumbled to the floor in a whir of limbs and frantic movement, sweat easing the– okay, yes– very juvenile grind of their bodies.
They didn’t even get their clothes off, for fuck’s sake.
Rutting like animals on the stone floor of a well-trapped temple wasn’t his idea of a good time, but goddamn if it didn’t leave Zabuza breathless and alive with excitement throughout.
Afterwards they lay gasping, too tired to even check for more traps.
“Wonder what would have happened if you hadn’t crashed my solo mission?” He wondered out loud, as he waited for his body to recover.
“Dunno.” Kakashi rolled onto his elbows. “Guess you’d have jerked it raw and then died of dehydration.”
Zabuza winced.
“Urgh.”
Kakashi’s soft laughter filled the room.
“You’re welcome.” He preened. “And for the good time, too.”
“Ass. I didn’t thank you for shit.”
Zabuza climbed onto his knees and then his feet, staggering briefly. He’d lost count of the number of orgasms after the first few– they’d started to blend together.
Zabuza reached out a hand that the other nin took gamely, until Kakashi was standing as well. He used the grip to swirl into Zabuza’s space like a waltz, pressing his free hand flat to Zabuza’s chest and fluttering his pale lashes.
“My hero.” He said breathlessly.
Zabuza snorted, pushing him away. Kakashi rolled with it. They gathered their respective gear– a belt pouched yanked off here, kunai that had fallen out of pocket there–and dignity.
“So, do you think there’s any more sex traps?” Kakashi wondered out loud, as nonchalant as if idly discussing the weather.
Zabuza almost tripped. He didn’t know if he could survive another bout of pollen-induced fever. His junk ached at the thought of it– he hadn’t fucked that much since he was a chunin.
“Maybe we should retreat for now– camp outside the entrance and come back with the dawn.” He needed a meal or, at the very least, a few gallons of water so he wouldn’t die if they sprung another trap.
Kakashi’s head tilted to the side contemplatively. Something about the gesture threw Zabuza– he couldn’t look away. Silver eyes in the moonlight filtering in through some hole in the ceiling spoke to something canid and fearless in his expression.
Then Kakashi blinked and it was gone, a man like any other standing in front of him.
“Mm. Maybe we could take the opportunity to prepare for any more encounters.” Kakashi said innocently, stretching his scrawny forearms behind him.
“You–” Zabuza’s voice trailed off as he thought of what kind of preparations they could take.
He imagined how the last hour would have gone if their only option hadn’t been “grind into each other on the floor.” A red flush stole up his cheeks, despite himself.
This mission wasn’t incredibly important, more for the too-rich civilian client’s curiosity of what could be found at the heart of the temple than anything else, but Zabuza wasn’t on a tight deadline.
They could certainly have a lot of fun here. Take their time. There was a steady drip somewhere in the walls, audible as they traveled back to the entrance of the temple.
The night was young. His apartment in the village was lonely and while he usually tried to hurry through remote missions, extending his time in this wilderness almost made up for the wretchedly damp outdoors and lack of civilization.
They made it to the foyer of the building and Zabuza unsealed his overnight gear. In the style of older temples, there was less a door and more a wall of pillars as the very front of the room opened up to the world.
Kakashi easily and efficiently made a fire and, seeing the old sconces lining the walls of the space, lit those up as well. The smoke wouldn’t choke them out, but neither could the light really be seen, and while they were protected from the weather, a gentle breeze whispered in.
It was downright fucking cozy, as far as away missions went. They even had shelter from the elements. As the fire advanced from crackling tinder to a proper source of warmth, and that heat seeped into him, Zabuza grunted assent and dropped his armor next to the bedroll.
“Yeah?” Kakashi’s silver eyes glittered in the torch-lit shadows, brows quirked curious and inviting.
“Yeah, alright.” Zabuza agreed, shivering as his body climbed right onboard for what exactly he was signing up for. “But you’re hunting dinner.”
“Only if you’re dessert.” Kakashi leered, absolutely shameless, and his quiet laugh echoed through the room when Zabuza lunged for him.
He didn’t protest at all when Zabuza pinned his wrists to the stone above messy, silver hair, and when the laughter gasped into other sounds, well– that was good enough for him.
Better than he thought this mission would go, anyway. He sent a quiet, half-mocking prayer to the temple’s god, and figured that if he wanted to go around playing tricks, Inari was used to dealing with the consequences.
Test!